Where has all the good butternut squash soup gone?

I live in the central valley, the produce center of California. One would think I could find a good brand of butternut squash soup already made that does not taste horrible. I am sorely mistaken the Campbell’s stuff used to up to par not so much anymore, the soup at Whole Foods cost up to seven dollars and seems to be geared towards people with very specific needs. Fresh and Easy used to have the best butternut squash soup at a decent price even but I guess that stopped using their supplier and I can’t seem to find it any where. I have even tried the Panera butternut squash to soup but I would only say that it is okay and I would not have it once a month if given the opportunity, even though I love their sandwiches, baked goods and some of their other soups. I know, you are thinking why is this person caring so much at butternut squash soup.

Well, the thing between my new job and hardly seeing my so and trying to improve my life, that soup was one of the few good things I had to look forward to when I was sick or had a crappy day.  I remember when I had just finished my masters thesis and was sick for a month and I lived off Fresh and Easy’s butternut squash soup and rosemary rolls. To top it off since I am still trying to diet and lose weight this soup is low in carbohydrates and good for you.

Don’t you have one of those foods that even when nothing is going your way that at least that is a consistent thing in your life that you could always depend on to some extent. Well, that was this soup for me.

I know I should just woman up and make the soup from scratch but considering I am grateful to have the energy to make salads at home, at salads at home since it is the one of the few times during the day I can be creative and nothing is dictated to me about how I organized my salads, or how much of a mess I make while making it and it still looks pretty and taste good by the end of the day than I am happy.  I guess for me food like soup or salads seems to reveal how I would like some control in my life in a world where their is very little that one can control in the first place.

So readers this leaves me wondering should I continue my quest for a good butternut squash soup or pray I find an easy recipe online that puts Fresh and Easy to shame?

Redifing gender roles…

Alright so for the past couple days my mom has been sick which sucks since work has been kicking my butt as usual. But I have been trying to pull my weight around the house by helping with dishes or whatever I can reasonably do and still get enough sleep for work. The thing is our family really needed to go grocery shopping and my step bro said that he would not be able to do this because he had suddenly decided that he was writing a horror novel. Also, the one night he could have helped he was writing his “novel”. This same guy won’t help with dishes because of his skin issues. I think this irks because even when unemployed or working I have helped with dishes, grocery shopping, cleaning, etc. While, he decides now to become a writer so obviously he cannot be disturbed and my parents also said nothing when he spent his whole time playing league of legends.

I am just wondering if I have walked into a time machine into the 1950’s in which the boys plays games all days and the woman do all the house work on top of their own job. The weird thing is my dad who would be defined as a guys guy is participating in a Christmas cookie exchange and this is not a man who typically bakes and this would be seen as a typically female activity.  Also, my dad is making cookies with a packaged mix but its the thought that counts and he is the only man participating in this cookie exchange. This just makes me wonder when it comes to a man’s gender roles should men behave like my dad or more like my step brother?

Also, does he have to be one or the other can he both, I just think men like women need to be malleable about their gender roles in and outside of the household. For instance, I have a step dad who does the laundry, and the same step brother is obsessed with brand name cologne and making sure he wears lotion and I am pretty sure spends more time on his hair than I do.

In a world where the man are taking on the supposed “female/girly” activities, and women are becoming their own boss and taking over the world, where do one’s gender roles in society begin and end?

Long time no blog…

I don’t know if I am happy or indifferent to report that the reason that I have not blogged for the past couple months is because I have gotten a job. I have had this job for the past couple of months and sometimes it feels like I am still learning the ropes and praying to many gods that I do not get fired because I am that paranoid.  It took me seven weeks just to feel competent and I suspect will be proving to my many higher ups that I know what I am doing and am a competent worker. However I have had a friend ask me whether this job is the right job or a good fit?  The thing is I had been unemployed for the past ten months the fact that anyone hired me at all in this town where getting a job is like winning the lotto was enough for me.

Also, I have learned when applying to places that sometimes or rather most times they will not leave you a message these days and you have to track them down just to land an interview. It was from this I realized that other places had called me and I did not receive their messages. Also, I did get lots of calls for interviews for seasonal work but I know for sure I want something that will last even it is part time, it pays the rent and I get to feel productive.

However, my life for the past couple months have been chaos as I have not been taking care of my self and have the fatty liver thing again along with high cholesterol. The good news is that I have lost 15 pounds in the the past four to five months and am half way to my goal weight of 125lbs. My hope is when I see my doctor before Christmas that I can get back on b-control because being off is throwing me and my emotions for a loop and I am more itchy than I would like to be. Also, I have a wound up nutritionist who reminds me of the mom from the George Lopez show, and has me on a strict low carb, low sugar, and low fat diet, where my one joy in life other than seeing my friends or occasionally reading is making pretty salads. My limit is 75 to 99 carbs a day which seems a bit low considering how much heavy lifting and pacing I do at work. I admit I have gone over but even when I am being good I still end up being hungry at the end of the night. I am hoping by January she loosens the reigns on my diet a bit at the very list I can be in the triple digits for carbs. It has been a crazy couple months and I am still trying to figure things out.

I have decided that two potential career choices I would like to pursue while crazy is trying to become a writer in a world where everybody can seem to become a writer and get paid for it. I would  also like to work for the EEOC to defend the little guy.  Also, when I am not working so much this week I will do a post for receiving the lovely blog award and try to catch up on my blogging 101 homework.  Sorry for this tangential blog, after this I plan to try to post more often I hope.

My top 5 blog follows…

Alright well I follow way more than five people and even though I have had on many more blogs to follow on my blog reader. I will tell my readers my top 5 blogs of this moment that I like to read whenever I get the chance.

1.  http://oneawkwardyear.wordpress.com/- This blog feels like it may as well describe my life, since the blogger herself is awkward and goofy and proud of it.  Also, am all for any blogger that will get a Gilmore girl reference.

2. http://amapofcalifornia.wordpress.com/I love this blog for so many reasons it is beautifully written, he makes cogent points, and most times it feels more like I am reading an academic essay with a personal touch rather than a blog. Also, I love how he describes his search for employment and all the ups and downs and it gives hope for  the rest of us.  I was thrilled when I found out he got a job.

3. http://cookiesandsangria.com/- I love that this a blog that is obsessed with Amy Phoeler from Parks and Rec and Gilmore Girls as I am.   For me this blog is my pop culture haven that will occasionally inform you about important things such as net neutrality.

4. http://brockheasley.com/- I love this blog because it gives an in-depth perspective of being unemployed on a day to day basis.

5. http://girlslikegiants.wordpress.com/- this is a new blog I just discovered and now want to write essays for about feminism in media and popular culture, since I am pretty sure I spent most of graduate school writing essays about this


Alright well this post goes out to my dream reader, as it is an in depth analysis of Gilmore Girls Season one episode six titled “Rory’s Birthday Parties”.  For me this episode is significant because it is viewed as Emily Gilmore’s  attempts to try to connect with her daughter and grand daughter.  Her first attempt is by serving “pudding” at Friday night dinner. Now, while this  might not seem significant Emily is an upper class woman which is shown when Rory comments “I have never had pudding in a crystal bowl before”(1.6).  So while it is pudding it is fancy pudding.  Lorelai even comments later when talking to Sookie about Rory’s birthday parties that “I’s sure it was some expensive form of pudding, but it was pudding none the less!”(1.6).

Emily’s second attempt to connect with younger generations is when she offers to throw Rory’s birthday party at their house that may as well be a version of a small castle.  She tells Lorelai that her and Rory will come their and have “a little party”(1.6).  She wants to do this on Friday night since this is Rory’s birthday even though Lorelai would like to celebrate her birthday that night. So Rory the “lucky” girl she is gets two parties one on Friday and Saturday night(1.6).  Even though Rory and Sookie would rather just celebrate her birthday on Friday and Rory comments “You couldn’t get her to cave”(1.6).  These parties represent a part of contention through out this entire episode.  But, this as much to do with class issues presented as the parties themselves.

But prior to these parties Emily then tries to connect with her daughter through by asking her to go shopping for Rory’s birthday present and to get something “that [Lorelai] would get her”(1.6).  The shopping trip ends of being a disaster because all the items Emily picks out show that she does not know Rory at all through the choices of a “cashmere sweater” or a “Mont Blanc pen” (1.6).  Class issues also come into play because Rory seems to be a practical middle class person these items would not be of use to her.  Lorelai even comments that when it comes to the pen that she can “put it on the desk at her law firm?”(1.6).  The many glaring differences between Rory and Emily widen more when all her classmates have to go to her birthday party or to what is coined as an “obligation party”(1.6).

Rory, even comments to her best friend Lane that “it’s bad enough that I have to see these stupid kids from Chilton everyday. But tonight? On my birthday? I have never even talked to most of them. I have only been going to this school for a couple months”(1.6). She then explains that her mom and grandma are getting along for once which is why she didn’t want to tell her about the party.  Well her explanation is that “that would be the end of the pudding”(1.6).   Pudding through out this episode seems to represent something positive happening which in this case is the peaceful detente in the case of Emily and Lorelai.  This further shown when Deans whispers to Rory “happy birthday” and she tells Lane “I’m just thinking about pudding”(1.6). In this case the positive though is about Dean and her dating, so in this case it has romantic overtones.

But, I think their is more to the pudding than just the positive undertones, this is the shows way of trying to connect people from what seem to be vastly different worlds through the magic of food.  I say this because when Rory and Lorelai are at Emily’s party for Rory’s birthday the food does not appeal to them and according to Rory ” Everything smells funny”(1.6).  While, oddly enough Emily is enchanted by Sookie’s food at Rory’s second party.  This just goes to show the effect that a food can have on a person, and that one’s class will determine the type of food served at something even as simple as a birthday party.  Finally, it shows how detached Emily is at this time from her daughter and grand daughter, even if she is trying to bridge the gap with puddings and parties.

All quotes from this episode were from http://www.gilmoregirls.org/eguide/transcripts/episode6.html

Also thank you pinterest for the awesome pictures


I am blogger hear me roar..

I am blogging publicly usually just to vent or too bring up topics or things that no one wants to talk about or acknowledge. I was that girl in English class who would say the inappropriate things that everyone was thinking but did not have the ovaries or balls to say.  In the beginning I started this blog to deal with the loss of my grandmother three years ago.

I recently started blogging again to deal with another loss, the loss of employment about eight months ago since where I live there are not many outlets to talk to those that are unemployed and know what you are going through at the moment. I have found a sort of unemployment support group through wordpress through the many interesting blogs I have been able to read. But, now I blog because I think that I have interesting things to say since I have an in-depth knowledge of television shows, fashion and food that should be used for good and not evil. Whether, or not this is another thing entirely.

In addition, to being very nerdy I started this blog to connect with my fellow nerds who are obsessed with rewatching old television shows (“Gilmore Girls”, “Veronica Mars”, “Leverage”) and analyzing them, those who lives feel as socially awkward as mine, and anyone who likes critiques seemingly insignificant things for the fun of it. I am not sure if this blog accomplish all of these things that I would like it to, but I hope it will be able to in the future.

p.s. its still nagging at me that Lorelai switched from red vines to twizzlers after six seasons in Gilmore Girls

My mixed feelings about “Top Chef Duels”…

I have been watching “Top Chef Duels” on Bravo recently because I figure I should give it a try to see if this network could redeem itself from the fiasco that was the season 12 finale of “Top Chef”.  I like this show because you get to see the chefs cook against each other one on one while still letting them provide good pr for their restaurants. Also, I like that for each challenge it is something original and not something that has been done before as much in other “Top Chef” seasons.  For instance this past week the chefs Dale and Tiffani had to create a vegan three course meal for their final duel.

The one disappointing part for me is the fact that Curtis stone is one of the judges.  It is nothing against him totally but I have seen him in US shows more as a judge and less as a chef.  Also, I have just discovered that after all this time hosting shows and writing cookbooks that he has just opened up his first restaurant this year called “Maude”.  I think if I saw if he had any cooking prowess under pressure I would probably respect or like him more.  I think he may have guest stared on “Iron Chef America” but I am not sure about that.

Also, another I guess disappointing thought I had about  “Top Chef Duels” is that the producers are just using this show to get back in the good graces of the many pissed off fans about season 12. Well, maybe not just season 12 of “Top Chef” things in the show have been sort of hit or miss since season 9. I almost considered giving up on “Top Chef” in season 10.  I am sure I am not the only person who has thought about this. It just feels like the producers are literally trying to bribe us (the viewers) into watching season 13 of “Top Chef” this October with the famous guest stars, $100.000 grand prize , not including the $180.000 that is being spent for the individual battles between the individual chefs before the final battle in each episode.  I have decided I am going to do for “Top Chef” season 13 is watch the first three or four episodes and if I not impressed, or if they continue to try to impersonate the Food Network with more sizzle than steak as far as video content, than I am done with this show.  So to my readers out there I have to ask do you think “Top Chef Duels” is just a ploy to get back in viewers good graces to watch season 13 of “Top Chef”?